


What If I'm Right?

by lordbatty



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: (adding more characters as this goes along), 10 years later, Bonrin - Freeform, Established Relationship, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Pregnancy, Trans Rin, Trans!Rin, family fic, married BonRin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-31 08:58:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13971681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordbatty/pseuds/lordbatty
Summary: “I want to keep it, Ryuuji. Really? I fucking want to.”For Bon, sometimes it was a pain to be such an idealist. And to be completely honest, he knew that he also wanted this. But the realist in him was shouting that this was all a very, very bad idea.





	1. Don't Send Me No Angels

**Author's Note:**

> whoops I started watching anime and I really liked Blue Exorcist and I shipped Bon and Rin to no end, so you all get a fanfic from me ~ A side story by me.
> 
> ANYWAY, so this is a 10 years later future fic ; Rin is pregnant ( trans!Rin for details sake ) and married to Bon . . . and neither of them are quite sure how that's going to pan out with uh, Rin's other worldly issues. 
> 
> I love doing fics like this and they're really easy for me to write, so I thought that it would be the best course to take for my first ever anime fanfic work. It's gonna be a fun one, so hopefully it's enjoyable!
> 
> Enjoy, and happy reading! ♥

“I thought we were going to be careful about this!”

Rin swallowed thickly, his blue eyes casting down towards his feet as the words began to echo around his head. Bouncing off walls like a bad song he wished that he hadn’t heard in the first place. While Bon sounded angry, the underlying tone itself struck chords of worry and fear. And for Rin in that moment, there was no denying that he also felt the same. He couldn’t argue with Bon, there would just be no winning. Though, for as hot headed as his husband was, Rin knew that he, too could put up just as much of a fight.

“We were,” Rin spoke slowly, but with fire in his voice. He didn’t want to waver from the situation so suddenly, but if Bon was going to put up his metaphorical fists, then Rin was ready. “Listen, Bon, I don’t want to fight about this. Not now, not ever, not even tomorrow! I just -”

“Just what, Rin?” Bon sighed, tossing his hands up in the air. A quick shake of his head sent his dark brown fluffy hair swaying in the dim light of their bedroom. He was sitting on the edge of the bed now, in front of his smaller partner dressed only in a pair of dark blue boxers and and old grey t-shirt. “We talked about this. We talked about being careful because we weren’t sure what would happen. Or what  _ could _ happen. And dammit, I thought . . . thought we agreed.”

Hot tears were boiling at the back of Rin’s bright blue eyes. He was doing everything in his willpower to not bend and snap in front of his husband. That wouldn’t make anything better, human form or not. Rin’s temper matched up against his emotions no matter if he drew the sword or if he was just feeling boiled over normally. He couldn’t even look at Bon right now, that would just be too much for him to handle. Surely by then, the tears would escape and there’d be no going back then. 

“Look, I,” Bon spoke again, softer though this time around as he looked up from his spot on the bed. “This probably isn’t the reaction you wanted, but it had to be the reaction you expected, right? Honestly, you couldn’t expect me to jump on my feet right away, Rin. We went over this. Again and again and again. As much as I’d love to be over the moon or whatever the fuck emotion should come to me, I can’t. There’s only one thing that I can think of and that’s worry.”

“I get it already, damn you sound like a fucking broken record!” Rin didn’t shout, but the tone in his voice was growing thicker, his losing battle with control bubbling up even more. Sword be damned, he didn’t need that thing to lash out. He did just fine all on his own. “And I get it. You’re worried, you’re fucking afraid, you’re unsure, but I’m sorry things didn’t exactly work out like your perfect little Point A to Point B plan was!”

“You knew what we were getting into when we started dating back at the Academy, Rin,” Bon narrowed his eyes, rubbing a hand over his forehead slowly. “I was  _ going _ back to my monastery regardless of what  _ we _ were doing. I was  _ going _ to become Aria and pursue Dragoon alongside it. Dating you . . .” He took a deep breathe, closing his eyes to refocus himself. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

“Being with you was not in my plans, no. Especially after coming to know of your abilities and who you were other than an annoying little dumbass in class,” he paused with a soft, fond smile at the memory. “But we both said that after leaving the Academy, we were going to do our own thing and I was going to do my best to protect you from anyone who was trying to put a damn bullet through your thick skull.”

Rin had to smile at that, even just a little bit. All of those fond teenage memories coming back in between them. The promises they made to each other, the plans for their relationship moving forward, knowing the consequences and hardships along the way. Bon had been nothing but amazing and sweet and kept on those promises. In some ways, Rin felt responsible for how they went about things. And now?

Now he really felt responsible.

“And I've done all that,” Bon continued, reaching his strong hands over towards Rin’s to hold. “I’ve done my damn best. Marrying you was the hugest step. Nobody was going to understand why an exorcist of all people was going to marry a demon. The son of Satan no less, but we did it, didn’t we? We made it work and we  . . . we keep doing our thing. We keep each other grounded and I keep you the safest that I am able to.”

Nodding, Rin allowed his hands to be scooped up into Bon’s, biting down slowly onto his lip. Blue eyes trailed up slowly to meet brown ones and for the moment, Rin forgot why they were there in the first place. “Maybe - maybe there’s something we can do. Something to help this. I know you’re fuckin’ worried and I know that it’s . . . a problem. I know  _ I’m _ a goddamn problem. Nobody knows that more than me and everybody sure as hell has made it clear.”

Bon sighed with exasperation, dropping his head down onto his and Rin’s joined hands. “What in the world do you expect for us to do about this? How are we . . .” He paused then, laughing even. “You know sometimes I wonder what the hell goes on in that head of yours.”

“You’re starting to sound like my old man,” Rin rolled his eyes but smiled at the fondest memory of his father that he had left. Ten years was a long time, but it never got easier. Remembering their last conversation, remembering how he died and more even to the point of how Shiro Fujimoto  _ lived _ . Rin had to wonder from time to time how his father would have reacted to his life now. It was put together, finally, and more or less all thanks to the Academy . . . and to Bon.

“Yeah well, from what I have heard, your old man was fucking great,” Bon shook his head with another chuckle, rubbing a lone thumb across Rin’s hand. “We’re gettin’ off topic.”

“Maybe that was my plan,” Rin smirked, bringing up both of his hands to knead through Bon’s fluffy hair. It was longer now, and his natural color. It looked good on him; much better than that dumb blond patch in Rin’s opinion.

A sigh came from his husband then, both of contentment and strain. He was thinking, but calmed by the slow moving fingers of Rin that worked their way through his hair. “We can’t avoid this, Okumura.”

“Hey,” Rin frowned, looking down almost immediately. “Don’t go breaking out the old last name just because you’re upset.”

“Call it a force of habit,” Bon laughed softly, lifting his head up to look towards his shorter husband. “But seriously. We can’t avoid this. We have to talk about it and we have to figure something out.”

A thousand thoughts traced through Rin’s head at the moment. He’d dropped his hands away from Bon’s hair, their eyes meeting in an almost face-off like gaze. Neither wanted to be right or wrong, and Rin sure wasn’t going to back down from this so easily. No, he  _ wanted _ this as much as he’d hated to admit it. And Bon? Hell, even Rin knew that his husband wanted this just as much as he did. It was just . . . tricky to say the least. And that wasn’t even the half of it.

“Do you want this?” was the only thing coming out of Rin’s mouth and filled the tense air between them. He wasn’t even looking at Bon now, but rather out towards the open window behind him, gazing at the clear night sky. 

“What kind of dumbass question is that?” Bon almost laughed with the question. He was shocked, honestly, that Rin would even ask that. Though, he supposed with the outcome of their conversation so far, it was only fair to ask. “Of course I want this. It’s just - we have obstacles and jobs and  . . . you.”

A sting to the chest made Rin look down just then, but not at Bon specifically or really anywhere. Just dazed, staring at nothingness with his mind racing ahead of his mouth. As if  _ that  _ was anything new. “What’s that supposed to mean? And me?”

“Rin,” Bon sighed heavily, getting to his feet with both of his hands cupping the other man’s face into them. “You know exactly what that means, okay?”

“So what, I’m a demon,” Rin gritted his teeth with blue eyes glaring. “Big fucking deal, everyone knows it and even if they don’t it’s like you said! We’ve done a damn good job at keeping it hidden! We’re married for fuck’s sake, Ryuuji! I’m not saying you have to always be on my damn side, but you should at least be more than halfway there! Just because you protect me while everyone else is out to kill me doesn’t mean that I’m any less deserving of having a normal decent life!”

“You know that’s not what I’m saying,” Bon’s tone sounded stern, but careful. He kept his gaze set on a now furious Rin. “I would never say that and you know damn well that’s not what the problem is. It never was the problem. And you know for damn sure that is something I would never think of you. I love you, and I’ve done everything to prove that and show you. You might be the son of Satan, but you’re  _ mine _ first. And I don’t want you to ever fucking forget that, even for a second.”

Rin swallowed, collecting the words in his head and processing through them slowly. He’d dropped his gaze down away from Bon’s face at that moment, too worried about what questions were going to come up next. Though, he knew that Bon was right in everything that he’d just said. He never doubted the other man’s motives or love, never once. But sometimes, Rin had to wonder . . . and sometimes he had to ground his way of thinking.

“How did you find out?” the cool, even tone of Bon’s voice came through the quiet air once again. Hands removed from Rin’s face, he sat back down on the bed.

A sharp breathe in came out of Rin, his eyes darting up from the floor almost nervously. This was , well , bad enough without a whole slew of people knowing. Though, one more person besides himself and Bon wasn’t  _ terrible _ was it? 

“Rin,” narrowed eyes trailed up and down his husband slowly, Bon leaning over his legs with his hands dangling in front of his knees. “Who else knows?”

“Uhhhhh,” Rin gulped before dropping to his knees, biting down on his lip. Too often times he was over dramatic, but right now he was panicking too much to care about what he said or what movements he made. “ . . . Shiemi.”

“You told Shiemi?!” Bon’s eyes widened, voice raising. His heart pounded roughly against his ribs. If Shiemi knew, then who else had Rin ran his blabbering mouth to? Not that Bon could blame his husband . . . and more to the point that Rin  _ was  _ sometimes and over excitable idiot.

“She figured it out on her own!” Rin shouted back, throwing his hands up into the air. “She just - ended up confirming it for me! It’s not like I went around fucking telling the entire world, you know! Give me some more credit than that, Ryuuji!”

_ First name again? Yikes . . .  _  Bon closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, calming himself down before deciding to say anything further. But before he even had the chance to utter a single syllable, Rin spoke up again.

“Bon, I . . .” blue eyes met brown for a fleeting moment before being cast to the side. “I know it’s hard. And  it’s risky. And we don’t know what to expect or what to do, but. Honestly? Honestly I want - want to -” Rin sighed heavily, hanging his head down with eyes closed.

“I want to keep it, Ryuuji. Really? I fucking want to.”

_ There it is . . .   _ Silence followed that statement almost immediately, Bon at first gathering all the information in his head. Working the situation like a puzzle in his mind, figuring out all the right and wrong answers. Pros, cons, and outweighs. Sometimes it was a pain to be such an idealist. It got in the way of feelings more often than not. 

Truth was, Bon wanted this as well. But the realist in him was shouting that this was all a very bad idea. Yet, if it’s what  _ Rin  _  wanted, then what choice did he have otherwise? This was Rin’s decision to make in the end, no matter how much Bon would argue and give the reality of it all.

“Okay,” was all Bon said at first, which prompted a response from Rin by way of him lifting his head and his gaze. Taking in a deep breath, Bon traveled one of his hands slowly down towards Rin’s stomach , biting down on his bottom lip in thought. He felt anxious, knowing that the decision he was about to make. But it was for Rin . . . and he’d be damned if he was the one to get in the way of that.

“What do you mean okay?” Rin drew his eyebrows together, looking down at his husband’s hand. His heart was pounding against his chest, throat feeling like he was about to throw up. All Bon said was  _ okay _ and he didn’t know what that meant.

“I mean, okay,” Bon spoke softly, fingertips brushing lightly against the fabric of Rin’s shirt. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll make this work.”

Rin’s eyes widened at that, then narrowing slowly before widening again. He was trying to process just what his husband had told him and hoping that Bon was being serious. “ . . . you mean it?”

“Yeah,” Bon nodded slowly, a small but fond smile coming to his face. “I mean it. We’ll work it out, figure things out, and hope for the best. And . . . we’ll take it slow. Slow and easy, and get all of the help we possibly can. And . . .  and maybe it won’t be as bad as I’m thinking. And maybe, maybe you’ll be okay. Maybe  _ we’ll _ be okay.”

Nodding slowly, Rin scooted himself closer towards Bon, placing his own hands onto the other man’s shoulders. There were a lot of emotions running through him right then and Rin wasn’t sure if excitement should be one of those. Maybe not right now, but definitely eventually. He never really thought himself as the type to be excited about something like this, but after the years that had gone by and just being with Bon; well things can change after all, right?

A brief few minutes of silence between them led Bon to tilting his head ever so slightly, one of his hands riding up Rin’s shirt to expose his husband’s stomach. A million questions were running through his head as he stared down at Rin’s exposed and already pudgy stomach. He gulped just then, delicately trailing his fingertips over the bare skin.

“Will it be normal? Like, the whole process for you.”

“Probably, I don’t know man! This is a first for me!” Rin flushed and hung his head into his hands. “The only person who would know is Yukio.”

“Then we’ll go to him,” Bon responded almost immediately looking up towards his husband. “I trust your brother enough to not spread the word and have mass chaos ensue. And if he’s going to be the one to know anything about this, then it’s smart for us to include him, right?”

Rin thought for a moment, the surge of panic racing through his head and his body. He didn’t know exactly how Yukio would respond to this situation, yet he knew that Bon was right. His younger brother would have all of the help they would need and then some. It was, realistically, very smart to go to him.

“Okay, fine,” was all Rin could muster out with the short nod of his head. He sucked in a deep breath then, biting down on his lip. “So  . . . .you’re not mad?”

Bon laughed, surprisingly after the question. “No, you dumbass. Worried? Yeah. Unsure? Fuck yes. But mad? Nah. I couldn’t be mad about this, Rin. Other shit, sure, but  _ this _ ?” He smiled softly, placing his entire hand over his husband’s stomach with fondness. “This, I could never be mad about.”

“You’re a fucking sap Ryuuji,” Rin stuck his tongue out playfully, crossing his arms as he did so. 

“Careful what you do with that tongue,” Bon smirked, removing his hand and pulling down Rin’s shirt. He stood up then, towering over his husband as both arms wrapped around Rin in a loving, captive hold. “That’s what got you into this mess in the first place, you dumbass.”

“Ah, shut up!” Rin laughed, squirming in Bon’s hold. “You had a part in this, too!”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear ya,” Bon grinned, leaning his head down to plant sloppy kisses against Rin’s cheek which made his husband scream and writhe in his hold even more.

Once the kissing torture stopped, Bon brought Rin down onto the bed into his lap, resting his chin over top of Rin’s left shoulder, thinking again. He could tell that Rin was also deep in though, given the sudden quiet nature of his otherwise loud and reckless lover.

“We’re . . . we’re going to be okay, right? We’re going to do this right . . . and everything will work out,” Rin asked quietly, though it seemed to be more to himself. Blue eyes wandered down to their joined hands, pressed against his stomach. So much was at stake here, but at the same time he should be allowed to express, well, joy. He hoped at the very least Yukio would put his mind to ease and then maybe, just maybe, he and Bon could properly celebrate.

But for now, neither of them knew the right answer. And for Rin, that was just as terrifying to think about than  _ knowing _ what the answers would be.


	2. Help Me Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.O 
> 
> I'm surprised, pleasantly, about the reception for this so far! Thank you guys so much!
> 
> Enjoy and happy reading! ♥

The following week led Rin through a wave of thoughts. He nor Ryuuji had approached Yukio about the news yet and seemingly throughout that short week of time, Rin’s smaller looking bulge had become a bit more prominent. And for that reason alone, it worried both of the men into letting people know sooner rather than later.

Only, Rin wasn’t quite so sure that his younger brother was going to take this well. But the problem persisted itself and would continue to do so. Bon had reminded him time and time again that after a certain point, that belly was going to become harder to hide. Rin could argue, but he knew that his husband was right in the end. There was no telling what could happen now, later, or even tomorrow. 

Yukio  _ was _ their best bet at getting help and the information they would need. And both Rin and Bon hoped on every thread they grasped that in the end, it would work out for the better.

However, between the work loads and Rin having trouble keeping food down every so often, a week had blown past them quicker than they realized and soon, just merely thinking about when to tell Yukio turned into they  _ had _ to tell Yukio, and soon.

And that’s exactly where today found them. Bon practically dragging his husband out of their house to meet up with his brother in law. The sooner they got this out of the way, the easier it would be for everyone. And the better they would have an understanding of what to expect and what  _ was _ going on inside of Rin.

Today had unfortunately found Rin in an especially sour and sickly mood, though. But Ryuuji was tired of stalling and waiting. If they never went through with it now, the anxiety would kill them both. So Rin was following, slowly, all the while he pouted and looked as exhausted as he had four hours ago when he’d woken up. 

“He’s gonna kill me you know,” Rin finally spoke up as he and Bon slowly trudged up the steps of Yukio’s small home. “Like, right where I fucking stand.”

“He’s not gonna kill ya,” Bon sighed with the roll of his eyes. Through to be honest, he  _ was _ worried about Yukio’s response. Just because he and Rin got married didn’t mean that there was any special treatment. And even though ten years had passed, there was still the whole demon thing to worry about. For as long as Rin was alive, there would always be someone after him. And there would always be  _ someone _ wanting to kill him.

“Mhmh,” Rin mumbled out, eyes cast down towards his stomach. He was, admittedly, showing a little more now than the night he’d told Bon. But at the very least, he was able to still hide it with t-shirts and hoodies. At least there was that, until all of this was out in the open more to everyone and the dust would settle. 

“Listen,” Rin heard his husband’s cool and even tone through the quiet air around them, sounding almost just as worried as he felt. Though, he knew that Bon was trying his best to be the one to keep his cool between the both of them, Rin knew that his husband was just as unsure and scared. It wasn’t until Bon’s hands came up onto Rin’s shoulders, making the younger man slowly turn to face him.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to ya, Rin. Even though he’s  your brother, I’m still gonna protect you. It doesn’t matter  _ who _ is pissed off or trying to come after you. That’s why I’m here,” Ryuuji grinned softly, cupping Rin’s chin up into his hand, lifting his head up to look at those gorgeous brilliant blue eyes. “It’s because I love you, and I’m your husband. And you’re my dumbass who I would protect with my fucking life.”

Rin found a way to smile at the words, though it looked tiring. He nodded in response though, confident in what Bon said. It made him feel, at least, a little bit better than when they’d first arrived.

“Let’s get this over with,” Rin sighed heavily, eyes closed as Bon placed a gentle kiss onto his forehead and knocked on the heavy wooden door.

There was no turning back now.

~                            ~                              ~

 

“I’m sorry, do you care to explain this to me again?! Rin! What were you thinking? You know what could happen if this gets out! Or even worse, gets  _ immediate _ word to the Vatican! Are you out of your damn mind?!”

_ Well . . . so much for the confidence,  _ Rin kept his eyes down towards the floor, too afraid to look up and see the face which matched the tone of his younger brother. He was panicking on the inside, but also anger began to bubble up inside his chest. He wasn’t a kid anymore. He was a married adult. And he  _ knew _ , God did he fucking know all of this already. 

The conversation had started nicely enough. They were catching up, swapping work stories and Yukio trading a few supplies with Bon that he needed. Rin, for the most part much to both of their shock, was quiet. He couldn’t stop the gears in his head from turning, couldn’t stop the racing thoughts and what he planned to do if Yukio drew one of his guns and tried to shoot him where he stood. It wasn’t until his brother noticed the odd behavior that it was asked if something was wrong, a specific reason as to why they showed up today.

After that, it had been all downhill from there. Bon, at first, stumbled over his words. Unfortunately for Rin, that didn’t make him feel any better and before the demon knew what was happening, he had just said it.

_ ‘I’m pregnant, Yukio! That’s why we’re here! And we don't . . .  don’t know what to do or what to expect. Or how it’ll go, okay?!’ _

Yukio, at first, had been really quiet as he processed Rin’s words and Bon’s nervous reaction. But then, the shouting match had begun and now? Now Rin wasn’t sure how to retaliate. It was almost the same question and the same scenario he’d had with his husband a week ago. Everyone knew that this was a bad idea.

Everyone except for Rin himself it seemed.

“It’s not like we planned it, you know!” Rin finally forced his words out, fists balling up at the sides as he choked back hot tears. “And don’t you think I know this already? Bon and I already discussed this topic, do I really have to go through it again?! I’m not a child, Yukio!”

“No, you’re not, but you sure are as hell still as reckless as ever,” Yukio spat back, arms crossing and a hard glare going towards his brother, then over to his brother in law. “You two are unbelievable, how could you let this slip through your fingers?! I’m surprised at you, Ryuuji, really I am. You and I had several discussions about this after you married Rin.”

Teeth gritted, Rin shot his head up to finally look at his brother. Their glares could rival each other, and if looks could kill, they would both probably drop dead. “Don’t you dare blame him for this! And don’t talk like I’m not standing right here! You wanna blame someone? Blame me, not Bon! And talk to  _ me _ !” 

For a moment, Bon felt stuck. He had been the one who wanted to take most of this off Rin’s shoulders but instead it had turned into a battle of brothers. And to be honest, something inside Bon knew that his head strong, hot headed husband was going to end up spinning this whole plan on its back. More often than not, Rin allowed his anger and most emotion to get the better of him. And sometimes, that was a good thing. Other times, not so much. As it stood right now, Bon wasn’t sure which it was. But if his husband was going to argue with his twin, well . . . who was he to stop Rin?

Yukio’s hard glare shot directly from Bon over to Rin, though it seemed much softer than the stare down given to his brother in law. “Fine. You want to talk, big brother? Then go ahead. If you want my help, then you’re going to have to do a fine job at swaying me your way.”

“You don’t think that I don’t know what I’m doing? What  _ we’re _ doing?!” Rin gritted his teeth, a hand gesturing out towards Bon for a moment. “I know that I don’t know what’s going on or what we’re going to do! That’s why we came to you, though against my begging! I knew you were going to act like this!”

“I’m an exorcist, Rin, what do you expect?!”

“And so are we!” Rin screeched, hot tears stinging his eyes. “You’re not special just because you’re ahead of the game! We all have the same job. Just . . . some of us have other strings attached. And you ain’t hot shit, either, Yukio. You know exactly what to do to help us, and even more? You know that you’re just like me. So don’t act like you’re the highest and mightiest fucking person in the world.”   
  
A brief pause followed Rin’s words as he caught his breath, heaving heavily with tears streaming hotly down his face, fists balled up at his sides. “So don’t talk to me like I’ve fucked up. Don’t come after my husband. And don’t you even for a second think that I’m not going to fight for this. I know what I want. What  _ we _ want. I expect you to do the same, little brother.”

Bon had no time to react before Rin turned around and walked right out of the house, slamming the heavy wooden door behind him. A sigh escaped his lips, hands digging into his pants pockets. “He’s right you know, Yukio. You  _ are _ the only person who would know how to help us. I guess he’d been hopeful that maybe you would put your job aside for a moment and listen to him.”

Biting down on his lip just then, his eyes lifted up to look at Yukio’s expression which had completely shifted from frustration and anger to thought. “I know I had to. We’re all on the same side here, we all work the same job. Just . . . some of us have to bend the rules a little bit. Because you do that sometimes for the people you love. And I know you care about Rin just as much as anyone. But right now? He needs people. Needs me, his friends . . . his brother. So maybe if you pull your superiority complex out of your ass, you’ll be able to think a little more clearly and consider helping us.”

Having nothing further to say and worried about where Rin might have run off to, Bon turned with that statement, hoping with everything inside of him that given a few days, Yukio would come to  _ them _ . In a perfect world, that’s exactly what he would expect of the younger man, but to be completely certain about such things was dangerous. He didn’t want to get his own hopes up . . . or Rin’s.

The echo of the front door closing behind Ryuuji made his insides twist. They had hoped for a better outcome today, but even he had to admit that Rin had been right. Mentally, Bon kicked himself for expecting the best. Though, he did have to admit that Yukio was right on one thing: he  _ was _ an exorcist. To be fair, he should have shot Rin right then and there. But they were brothers before anything else, and Bon knew that small bit of humility was going to be enough.

“Come on, Rin,” Bon sighed softly, reaching down for his husband who was sitting on the porch steps. “Let’s get home. We can talk things over tomorrow.”

“Nothin to talk about,” Rin responded harshly. He did, however, take Bon’s hand and got himself up onto his feet. “We’ll just have to get someone else to help us.”

“Give him some time, Rin. You don’t know what could happen,” the response was light as Ryuuji leaned over to kiss his husband’s cheek. “I know today was rough, but you have to remember to give your brother time. You knew he wasn’t going to react in a positive way. He needs time to process.”

Rin shrugged then, his eyes going down towards his stomach yet again. They knew this was going to be a hard road, and for a moment Rin doubted his confidence.

What he wouldn’t give right now to have some advice from the old man. 


	3. Coming Out Of the Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ more notes at the end to avoid spoilers for this chapter]
> 
> Enjoy & happy reading! ♥

It was raining by the time Rin had reached the cemetery. Unfortunately for him, he’d forgotten an umbrella, though his hoodie was sufficient enough to keep his head at least a little dry. Kuro, however, was far less content with the rain coming down and had hidden himself in under Rin’s hoodie. A few complaints came from the cat at first, but then had fallen silent once his human reached the headstone on front of them.

Rin sighed deeply, sitting on his knees with Kuro wrapped around his shoulders, the cat’s head resting against his own little paws. At first, Rin didn’t move; he didn’t say anything and he didn’t look up at the grey slab in front of him. But then he did, eyes befalling the name inscribed on it. A slow, drawn out sigh escaped his lips as he eased down into a sitting position, legs crossed.

“You’d know what to do, wouldn’t ya, old man?” Rin spoke slowly, his voice being drowned out by the rain. “Considering you were the best fucking exorcist ever. Yukio doesn’t know how to listen. He puts his brain ahead of him. Though, I guess you knew that already huh?”

From behind his head, Kuro gave a soft purr only peeking open one green eye. He wanted to give Rin his time before speaking, worried about his familiar and the stress that had been put on his shoulders lately. 

“I uh, you know . . . you’d have made one hell of a grandparent,” Rin smiled slowly at his own words, shaking his head. “I mean you were one hell of a parent to begin with, so it wouldn’t surprise me.”

Falling silent again, Rin gathered all the sounds around him of cars going past the cemetery, the rain falling around him, and Kuro’s purring. Oddly enough, this was solace for Rin. It was a strange kind of comfort and one that he wanted to come to alone. He’d left a note for Bon back at the house, but knew that his husband was going to worry anyway.

“So you still come visit too, I see.”

Rin  _ would _ have jumped at the sudden realization of a voice coming from behind him, but he hadn’t been paying much attention to his surroundings and was too tired to realize that anyone else had even entered the cemetery grounds.

Hell, he didn’t even turn to see who it was; the voice was more than enough evidence for Rin. His eyes were still set on the headstone in front of him as he spoke, though it was low and almost barely above a whisper. “Hey Mephisto.”

“You sound as gloomy as the day, little brother,” the demon peered down towards Rin, umbrella in hand. At least  _ he’d _ been smart enough to avoid the rain somehow.

“I’m actually surprised you haven’t heard,” Rin sighed softly, rubbing a rain soaked hand across his cheek. “I’d have figured it would have reached all of Gehenna by now. Surprised I haven’t had anyone comin’ after my damn ass yet.”

“Oh, you mean the part about you carrying Ryuuji’s children? Yes, I already knew about that of course,” Mephisto grinned widely, almost with pride. “Though, fear not little brother, only a few of us know of that little detail. Your secret, for now however, is safe with me rest assured.”

“At least  _ you’re _ taking the news well,” Rin propped his elbow up onto one of his legs, leaning a cheek against his balled up fist. “Yukio, not so much.”

“Aaahhh, I see,” Mephisto nodded slowly, sticking a hand into his pant pockets. “So your twin isn’t so happy with the news. So with that in mind, the only person you could think of to go to is someone who is no longer with us.”

Rin clicked his tongue, eyes shifting up to look at the tall demon for a moment. “Ding, ding, you got it.”

“Naturally,” Mephisto smirked before walking over to the grey slab, fingers gliding over the smooth surface. “I do have to admit that Father Fujimoto would have known what to do in such a situation as yours. But I have to wonder, dear brother, if  _ you _ know what he would have done for you.”

Green eyes clashed with blue as Rin drew his brows together in thought. He came up with at least ten scenarios as to what his father would have done about this. But didn’t really  _ think _ about what would come of it or what the details of his elaborate scenarios would have included. 

“You see,” Mephisto continued, now leaning against the headstone. Clutching the umbrella handle with both hands, the demon stared Rin down as he spoke. “Your human father was, well, quite an admirable man. Well respected, well liked by everyone, and very smart. But you have to remember that he, too, was still an exorcist. And a very powerful one at that. Though he was your, well,  _ father _ , you also have to realize that he may not have accepted your situation as smoothly as your pretty little head is thinking.”

Rin wanted to come up with something to say, to tell Mephisto that he was lying. That the old man would never be like  _ Yukio _ . But then again, something inside of Rin was telling him that maybe the demon was right. 

“He would have come around, I’m sure,” Mephisto grinned, seeing the wheels in Rin’s head turning slowly. “But immediate? Heaven’s, no. And if I had to take a wild guess at what transpired between you and Yukio, then I would say that your brother acted as any logical and decently trained exorcist would. With contempt and fear. And maybe, little brother, you just have to open your eyes enough to see that the world around you 

isn’t as, well,  _ settled _ as you thought it would be. Though, I do have to say in the last ten years I have been quite pleasantly surprised with Assiah. Demons are a little more, how would you put this  . . .  _ acceptable _ in some parts. More than others, yes of course, but there are still jobs to be done and some demons just never learn.”

Rin gulped at that, closing his eyes with his head bowed. After marrying Bon, the world just seemed like a brighter, more manageable place to live. He felt safe, invincible, and on top of the world. It was almost as if everyone had forgotten that he was half demon. Hell, sometimes  _ he _ even forgot. Everything felt so right, so normal. 

And Mephisto  _ was  _ right about one thing; over the past ten years demons were more free to roam around Assiah without having to fear so much for their lives as before. They were able to blend in, live comfortably in society, and thriving. Sure there were some instances where exorcists would find them and send them back to Gehenna, but that was just how the world was now. And Rin knew that he still had to be careful, yet he had that fighting chance.

“How can you always be so damn right all the time?”

Mephisto laughed loudly at that, light and airy as it carried throughout the grounds and nearly drowned out the rain. “Ahhh, that is a secret, Rin. Though I suppose if you live as long as I have, you just tend to pick up a few tricks along the way, hmmm?”

Rin shook his head with a tiny smirk playing over his face. He reached a hand up to pet Kuro who had since fallen asleep around his shoulders. “So what do  _ you _ think I should do, then?”

“Oh dear me, I can’t even answer that myself,” Mephisto moved away from the headstone finally, dropping a hand down onto Rin’s head with a light pat. “That’s one of the greatest things about this! It’s so exciting and uncertain. The possibilities, my dear little brother, are completely endless!” 

“Glad to see  _ you’re  _ having fun with all of this,” Rin grumbled softly, bringing Kuro now down into his lap. “Between Yukio freaking out and Bon trying to keep tabs on me, I feel like I’m . . . trapped.”

Mephisto twirled the umbrella in his hands a few times, in thought. “Nobody said parenthood was easy. Especially when you’re a demon. Though, to be fair, you and the Suguro boy will have  _ wonderful  _ children! So at the very least you have that to look forward to.”

Rin narrowed his eyes then, picking Kuro up as he got to his feet. “That’s the second time you’ve said ‘children’, Mephisto. What the hell aren’t you telling me?”

“That depends. Is there something you’d like to hear?” Mephisto grinned with delight as he closed his umbrella. The rain had now stopped, which meant Rin could set Kuro down onto the ground and put down his hood.

“Depends on if you have something to tell me,” Rin glared softly. “Which, I have a feeling that you do. What the hell are you keeping from me, Mephisto?”

Another laugh came from the taller demon, that sly and mischievous look in his bright green eyes to match the smirk playing on his lips. “I suppose that perhaps, I  _ should  _ be the one to tell you, since it’s only fair and my duty as your big brother. Though, I suggest you keep it to yourself for a while, hmmm?”

Rin growled, crossing his arms. He had enough of games for the entire week. Whatever it was that Mephisto knew,  _ he _ wanted to know. And he wanted to know now.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop playing games with you. Though it  _ is _ quite fun,” Mephisto grinned as he pulled out his phone and flipped it open. “Congratulations, little brother! You and Ryuuji will be expecting not one, but  _ two _ children. Which is honestly quite common! You’re just lucky it wasn’t three. Oh my, I just couldn’t even  _ imagine  _ what you would do then.”

Rin could  _ feel _ the color draining from his face as soon as the words left Mephisto’s slyly grinning mouth. “TWO?! You mean to tell me I’m going to have  _ twins _ ?! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!”

“Now why in any world from here to Gehenna would I kid about such a wonderful thing like that?” Mephisto gave Rin a hurt look which was soon replaced back with his wide grin. “I have to run along now, but remember: keep it to yourself for the time being and also . . . allow your brother to breathe for some time. I have a feeling that he will come to his senses. After all, there is and never will be, a stronger bond than those between brothers.”

With that stupid, wide grin still plastered on his face, Mephisto gave Rin a bow, then a wink and before any protest or questions could be made, he was gone. Which left Rin in a ball of frustration as he turned back around towards his father’s head stone, kicking at the dirt under him with a scream.

Two . . . twins . . . he was carrying  _ two _ babies. Bon was going to absolutely drop dead from a heart attack the moment he found out. 

There was no possible way that this whole thing could get any harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely // loved // writing this chapter. Fuckin' Mephisto is a damn delight to write! Annnddd uh, yep! Twins . . . . boy is uh, Bon going to have fun once he finds out, huh?


	4. No Absolutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been on a writing roll today, so . . . here's chapter four! A little bro bonding to ease the mood ;P

With Rin gone for the day, Bon figured that maybe the best thing to do right now was to find, well,  _ someone else  _ he could talk to. Someone that wasn’t Yukio or anyone  _ else  _ who would want to rip Rin’s uterus out of him right then and there. People he knew that he could trust to listen to him without, hopefully, blowing any fuses.

That’s when he decided to call Shima and Konekomaru over to the house. Unsure how long Rin would be out for, Bon figured that this would be the best time to talk to his friends and bring out the news. And judging by the events of yesterday’s visit with his twin, Bon knew that it would probably be a while before his husband returned.

Shima had been all too eager to come over once he’d answered the phone. It was his day off, so immediately he was ready to rush over. He hadn’t been over in quite some time, and if Bon was honest with himself, it would be nice to have someone else over here talking his ear off. Konekomaru, on the other hand, hadn’t answered his phone which could only mean that he was busy for the day. Bon made himself a mental note to speak with his other friend another day. Maybe at the monastery, even. 

While waiting for Shima to show up, Bon checked his phone for any sign of his wayward husband. With a defeated sigh upon seeing no messages or missed calls, he pocketed the phone and fired up the coffee maker.

There was so much going through his head, but most of all it was worrying about his husband. Rin had been so quiet after the meeting with Yukio and of course Bon understood why. Still, when he’d awoken to a missing Rin from their bed and a note on the kitchen counter, Bon became more concerned. Yet he knew that Rin needed his time alone for now and for that, he was understanding once again. This was a lot for the demon to take in; he was going to need almost just as much time as anyone. 

Still, Rin running off on his own was stupid. With him being pregnant  _ anything  _ could happen and  _ anyone _ would be after him. That’s what worried Ryuuji the most. 

He’d been so lost in thought that Bon almost didn’t hear the knock on the door. But once it grew louder, it broke him free from his immersive, worried thoughts. With the shake of his head, Bon hurried to the front door and unlocked it, flinging it wide open to see Shima standing there in all of his pink haired, casual outfit wearing glory. 

Much unlike himself, Shima had begged to keep his hair pink on the job and while Ryuuji had tried to argue back about the professionalism of it, it had been Shura who’d rolled her eyes at them and gestured to well, all of her. Unfortunately for Bon, Shima won the argument that day and got to keep his hair pink, thanks to Shura. Looking at it now though, Bon was kind of glad he listened to the Knight over himself. Shima honestly wouldn’t  _ be _ Shima without it. And for some odd reason in his gut, that presented some sort of comfort he needed right now.

“You look like someone kicked your dog, or at the very least fired you,” Shima’s cool, even tone surrounded Bon, but he couldn’t register it. He was still thinking. “Heellooooo!!!! Earth to Ryuuji Suguro! You’re the one who asked me to come over here, dude, the least you could do is say like, ‘come in’ or something.”

“Oh, uh, fuck . . . right,” Bon bit down on his lip in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his head. “Come in, man. Good to see you.”

“I’d say the same,” Shima commented, striding into the house as if he just lived there already. “But you look like hell. Which, I mean, you’re married to a demon. So does that mean you  _ always _ look like hell? Or at least, like feel it? Wait . . . does it work like that?”

Not even five minutes of being here and already the pink haired man was rambling off nonsense and grabbing something to eat out of the fridge. Bon sighed heavily, rubbing both of his hands over his face in aggravation. He knew Shima was like this, but right now  _ he  _ was the one who needed to talk. So Bon did the only thing he could think of.

“Rin’s pregnant!”

_ That _ shut Shima up almost as quickly as he’d begun talking, a jelly bun crammed in his cheeks and an empty coffee mug in his hand as he  _ had _  begun to reach for the full pot Bon had just brewed. 

The air was thick and silent between them, with Ryuuji rubbing the back of his neck, eyes cast down to the floor. “He told me a week ago. He’s already starting to show a little bit, so we went to talk to Yukio yesterday. Or at least  _ tried _ to.”

A gulping sound came from Shima, his cheeks no longer stuffed with sweets. Carefully, he set the empty mug onto the counter before placing both of his palms down on the marble top counter, leaning over it. “Rin . . . the demon. The son of Satan. Your husband. Is pregnant. And you thought it would be a good idea to tell  _ Yukio _ ?” He paused then with a soft smirk playing over his face. “And I’m guessin’ it didn’t go very well now did it?”

“Shut up,” Bon mumbled mostly to himself. “It was the only shot we had. Who knows more about Rin and everything than him?”

“Yeah, but,” Shima removed his hands from the counter, now pouring himself some coffee. “Who knows his  _ boyfriend  _ more than anyone?”

Rolling his eyes, Bon let out a frustrated sigh as he crossed his arms. “Were we just supposed to come to you first, then? We panicked and thought that Yukio would be our best choice. We knew there was a chance at him being mad, but  . . . we thought at the very least we would be able to get  _ some _ sort of help.”

Shima gave Bon another incredulous look, fighting back the urge to laugh. Yukio was so . . . difficult most days. His boyfriend was uppity, always thought he was right, and more often than not, was a stiff. Yet Shima could understand why Bon and Rin would want to go to the younger twin first. Yukio cared about his big brother and brother in law. He cared about their relationship and what could happen to them. Shima knew Yukio was, however, sometimes a little  _ too  _ protective with his thoughts. And based on the last twenty four hours of hearing his boyfriend rant his frustrations out, Shima figured that eventually Bon would be coming to  _ him _ about this.

“He’s been talking your ear off, hasn’t he?” Ryuuji spoke up then, watching his friend raid the fridge for creamer.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Shima grinned, pulling out a bottle while closing the fridge with his foot.

“So you already knew Rin was pregnant,” Bon rubbed his hands over his face again with a sigh. 

“Aahyup, sure did,” Shima drowned his coffee in creamer, sticking his tongue out in between his lips. “Practically shouted it at me as soon as I came home last night. Went on this almost two hour rant and a half about it, about what you two should do, what  _ he _ should do, and then about his conflicted feelings for his older brother and so on and so forth.” 

He waved his free hand in the air as he spoke the last bit out, then looking up at his friend with a lopsided grin. “You know how Yukio is.”

Bon winced at that, not wanting to have put Shima through the aftermath of their little meeting. But knowing his friend, it sounded as though Shima had taken everything in like a pro from his boyfriend and remained cool throughout. He was good at that, especially when it came to handling people like Yukio and himself. 

“Where is our favorite little demon anyway?” Shima looked around the apartment just then with his eyebrows drawn together. “You two are usually stuck like glue.”

“I dunno,” Bon shrugged softly, leaning against the opposite side of the counter. “He’s been kinda quiet since yesterday. Left me a note saying he was off for a walk, but that’s it. Figured he needed some time to think and collect himself.”

“Bon,” Shima’s tone took a serious turn just then, eyebrows drawn more together with concern in his eyes. “You can’t let him wander off on his own. If anyone, especially the Vatican, gets word that he’s pregnant-”

“ _ I know!” _ Bon roared then, clenching his hands into fists as they slammed on the counter, eyes closed. But Shima didn’t bat an eye at it, just sipped his coffee cooly. “I know, Shima. Don’t you think that I know that? I know what could happen if they get a hold of him. I know what they could  _ do _ to him. But I can’t . . . can’t just kept him locked up in the house or anything. He’s an adult, and he’s my husband. As much as I would love to take extreme measures to protect him, I can’t. And you know that, dumbass.”

“Feel better now?” was all that came from the other man as the faint sound of the coffee mug being set down rang through Bon’s ears. 

If he was honest, he  _ did _ feel a little bit better. Ryuuji knew that he’d been keeping a lot in for the sake of Rin. For as confused and turned around as he felt, Bon could only imagine how  _ Rin _ was feeling. He was the one carrying the baby for fuck’s sake. This was infinitely more terrifying for his husband and Bon knew this. He didn’t want to scare Rin any further, so he’d been doing his damn best to keep his cool.

Well, up until now.

“You can’t keep this kind of emotion from Rin, you know,” Shima spoke up a little softer and less serious than before. “I know you’re trying to keep strong for him and not lash out, but . . . think about it. You’re both in this impossible situation together. If he keeps running off and you keep your emotions swept under a rug, this is going to wind up being a lot harder than you both need.”

“You’ve been spending too much time around Yukio,” Bon laughed sourly, shaking his head as his fists un-clenched and body began to relax. 

“Or you,” Shima shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. “But I mean it. You two need to be careful while also enjoying the parenthood side of things. Some of us aren’t always going to be there right away when you need us. You and Rin need to be on guard, at all times. It’s not gonna be easy, Bon, but . . . I know you and Rin. You both are hot headed, strong idiots to your own rights. I think you two can do this and keep it under wraps as much as possible. But you’re both gonna have to think sometimes.”

Knowing his friend was right, Bon let out a defeated sigh. This was exactly why he called Shima first. Not only was he  _ dating _ the brother of his husband, but his friend had always been level and good with talking. He knew that Shima would be the more reasonable one between himself and Konekomaru. Though, Bon knew Neko would react harshly first, then logically. Shima had been the  _ best _ option first. 

“Besides all of that,” Shima waved a hand around dismissively, as if trying to get rid of all the tension, “are you excited? Is Rin? I mean . . .  _ kids,  _ Bon. You always talked about havin’ your own family someday, and a big one at that. Now you’re havin’ some. You think they’ll be demons too? Or like, at the very least half like Rin? Maybe a quarter since like, you’re  _ all  _  human. Though there’s a chance none of your guys’ kids could be demon, but just have like . . . pointy ears or something like that. Shit, man, that would be cool.”

“Your rambling again,” Bon shot his friend a teasingly annoyed look, removing himself from the counter. He headed over to one of the cupboards for a coffee mug himself before looking down towards his feet. “I mean . . . worried is the word that comes to mind before excitement. I guess maybe once everyone close to us knows. . .  maybe once we can stop worrying  _ so  _ much about what would and could happen. The excitement? It’s there, for both of us. But I think it’s going to take some time for us to,  _ act _ on it.”

A fond smile came over his face as he toyed with the mug in his hands, looking up at Shima. “Rin was so . . .  adamant about keeping the baby. When he came to me about it, he just was so ready to fight to keep it no matter what I said. I know he wants this, too. I could see it all over his face. I think - I think he’s going to make a great parent and he’s going to enjoy some of the, uh, I guess finer parts of being pregnant. He’s fit for this, Shima. He really is, and that’s something I never thought I’d  _ ever _ say about Rin Okumura.”

“Well, Rin  _ Suguro _ now,” Shima grinned with a loud chuckle. “Though, I’m happy to hear that, man. You two are smart, when you’re not acting on emotion and frustrations. You’re gonna be fine, dude. Just remember what I said, alright?”

With that, Bon felt a hard clap against his shoulder as he reached for the pot of coffee. “What uh . . . what about Yukio? You think he’s going to come around? Help us out a little?”

“I mean,” Shima crossed his arms, eyes squinting up towards the ceiling. “I  _ think _ if I offer some more of my amazing dick sucking skills, I could convince-”

“EY EY EY EY!!! I didn’t need to know that detail!” Bon shouted, bringing a hand up to clap right over Shima’s smirking mouth. “The hell’s wrong with you?”

“Everything and nothing all at once. That’s just the magic of me,” Shima smirked once he was able to pry his face away from Ryuuji’s hand. “But seriously, I’ll talk to him, okay? I’m sure once he’s done sticking his head up his own ass, he’ll come around. You know how Yukio is.”

“Mhmh,” Bon responded with a mutter under his breath as he poured some sugar into his coffee. His mind was still spinning, knowing he was going to probably have to go out with his car to fetch Rin, wherever he was. But having Shima here and being able to openly talk about the pregnancy without getting screamed at had helped. Well, at least for the time being anyway.

Now all they had to do was survive the next nine months.  _ That _ , already apart from parenting on its own, was going to be a feat Bon hoped that his husband was ready for.


	5. Human, After All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say that writing Amaimon was JUST AS FUN as writing Mephisto? Godsh I love them two demon boys a lot.

A swift kick to the knees is what sent Rin tumbling down onto his hands, knocking the wind out of him as instinct kicked in and he rolled over onto his side for the brunt of the fall to take impact.

His hands began to burn with red scuff marks showing up on his fingers and palms from the fall. Another burning pain was forming in his chest, one of anger and parental instinct. Whoever had just kicked him was going to get it, and get it hard.

“What the hell was that fo--” Rin stopped then in mid sentence, his breath once again getting knocked out of him as one lone foot collided into his chest, forcing him back down onto the pavement.

Once his head collided with the gravel and pavement of the road he had been walking on, Rin squeezed his eyes shut, wishing that maybe he would have and should have brought his sword with him. It wasn’t until he got his breath back and opened his eyes that he now saw who the attacker was.  _ Amaimon _ .

And for a split second, Rin didn’t know if he should be worried or relieved.

“Cool it, man! I’m carryin’ twins here!” Rin shouted at his other half demon brother, trying desperately to shove the foot off his chest.

“Oh, I know,” Amaimon didn’t smirk, and he barely even made eye contact as he pulled out a blue sucker from seemingly nowhere and stuck it in his mouth. “But that doesn’t mean I still can’t play with you, little brother.”

“Yes it does!” Rin shouted again, lifting himself up only by a little bit with his hands. Amaimon was still stronger than he was, even after all this time. Then again, Rin hadn’t exactly been prepared for the demon to sneak up on him and right now, he was only thinking about shielding his stomach. 

Amaimon smirked, leaning down closer towards Rin as his gaze became fixed on the other’s stomach. “Yes, well. I heard about the news from my older brother and I decided that perhaps a congratulations was in order. You know, in person.”

Rin gritted his teeth, blue eyes almost boring holes into the other demon. He’d had enough messing around for the last two days and this? This wasn’t making things any better. “Let me  _ go, _ Amaimon.”

A split second went by, with their eyes clashing against each other with one intense stare and another that read just plain ol’ bored. “Okay,” was the next thing that came from Amaimon, followed by removing his foot from Rin’s chest altogether. 

Relieved, but still on guard and angry, Rin hurried to his feet as quickly as possible. “What the hell do you want, anyway?”

“I already told you,” Amaimon removed the lollipop stick from his mouth and flicked it across the road effortlessly. “To congratulate you on your up and coming offspring. It’s not everyday in Gehenna that you hear of a demon bearing children. Much more to that, the son of Satan no less. Truly, this is quite an exciting occasion, little brother.”

Rin looked down towards the road in contempt, frowning deeply as his eyebrows drew tightly together. It worried him, the amount of people or demons that knew about him and Bon’s children. Mephisto and Amaimon, Rin already figured would have long since known by now. They seemed to know everything, and since technically by all demon related accounts, they would  _ always _ know things about Rin’s life. That much, in ten years, had not changed.

“What’s wrong? You do not seem as thrilled as I would have hoped,” Amaimon broke through Rin’s thoughts once again, this time making him look up. 

Rin figured he should count it as a blessing, that the demon wasn’t trying to injure him in any way or ‘play’ around as he usually did. The only thing that Rin could figure was Mephisto telling his younger sibling to behave himself. Still, Amaimon  _ had _ knocked him on his ass, nearly so almost onto his stomach no less. 

The thought made Rin seeth again, with parental feelings and rage that he had never in his life felt before. And the thought alone suddenly emitted his blue flames, forming around his hands and up through his feet all the way to his shoulders. He didn’t want  _ anyone _ near him or his and Bon’s kids. 

“Ooohhh, yay!” Amaimon clapped with glee as he bounced on his heels, eyes widening at the aspect of Rin’s flames. “Now you’re becoming more fun! Tell me, little brother, what prompted you to invoke your famous flames, so very much out in the open? Where anyone and everyone could spectate freely?”

Rin couldn’t speak, and he sure as hell couldn’t move. At least, he couldn’t for a few moments. Then, without another moment to think, he lunged for Amaimon, hand going right for the throat. His head felt fuzzy and every emotion surged through his body as the grip collided with Amaimon’s jugular, which sent the demon down hard onto the pavement. And Rin didn’t loosen the hold.

“If I ever,” Rin breathed heavily, almost growling as his bright blue eyes raged with the same intensity of his emotions. “Catch you around me or my babies again, I won’t think twice about sending you back to Gehenna or worse,  _ destroying  _ your ass!”

“Mmmm, too bad,” Amaimon didn’t even become phased at Rin’s actions, nor the grip around his neck. He didn’t even lose the coolness in his voice or beg for Rin to let him go. Instead, he just smirked Rin’s way before completely disappearing, much to the other demon’s upset.

“No! Get the fuck back here! We’re not done yet!” Rin screamed into the empty streets of the night, hot tears forming in his eyes. He was still glowing blue flames and if he didn’t want to get caught, he was going to have to calm down. 

What the hell was happening to him anyway?

“I’ll have you killed! I’ll have you all killed, do you hear me?!” Rin screamed again into the darkness, his voice growing hoarse and cracking with his tears. “I don’t care who you are! I don’t care what you want! Don’t you  _ ever  _  come after me or my kids again! They’re  _ mine _ ! And they’re Ryuuji’s! They’re  _ our _ babies! Nobody else’s, and I’ll be damned if I let anyone try to stop me! Or hurt me, or get them! Fuck you! Fuck. All of you!”

Dropping to his knees in his fit of rage and emotion, Rin hung his head as tears freely escaped from his eyes. He didn’t even hear the car pulling up behind him or when it stopped and parked, the door opening. It wasn’t until someone got out and started running towards him that Rin came back to the world.

“Rin! Jesus, Rin,” Bon’s voice sounded startled and worried, but relieved as he dropped to his knees in front of his husband, taking the other man into his arms. “Rin, my god. What happened? Are you okay? You need to calm down, anyone can see you out here.”

Rin gritted his teeth again, closing his eyes as more tears came. The rage was dissipating which meant that his flames would soon go away along with it. Hands grabbed at Ryuuji’s shirt, a choked cry coming out of Rin’s mouth.

“Calm down, Rin, calm down,” Bon spoke slowly and softly, running a hand over Rin’s hair in slow and soothing motions. He didn’t know what just happened, but knew he would get the story later. Right now, he needed Rin to calm down for the flames to go away before anything bad happened. “It’s alright, Rin. It’s just me. I’m here now.”

“I can’t . . . Bon . . .” Rin shook his head, face buried into his husband’s shoulders as tears soaked the other man’s shirt. So much had happened in so little time and it finally seemed to have caught up with him. All of the emotions, the fight with Yukio, going to his father’s grave, talking with Mephisto, and now this? It was all just so much and for the longest time, Rin thought that maybe he was strong enough to repress all of the emotion that came down hard on top of him.

“It’s alright, Rin,” Ryuuji sighed softly, closing his eyes. “We can talk later. Just calm down for now, okay? I’ll take you home. We can relax in bed and I’ll get you whatever you want. Just . . . put the flames away for now, okay?”

Nodding, Rin gulped as he began to focus more on his breathing. Slowly, in and out, just like Shura and Bon had taught him whenever he’d lose control. It worked, more often than not, and once Rin was able to calm himself down, the flames went away. Just as they did right now. 

“There ya go,” Bon pressed a kiss to Rin’s head softly, gripping his husband into a tight and loving hug. “God, Rin. I was so fucking worried about you. Where’d you go?”

“To see the old man,” Rin spoke in an almost hoarse whisper, removing his head from Bon’s shoulder to wipe at his tears. “I was on my way back when-”

“Shhh, no, stop,” Ryuuji reached a hand over and lifted Rin’s chin so their eyes met. “We can talk about that later. We need to get you home first.”

“Yeah,” Rin nodded slowly, feeling immediately calm as soon as he looked at his husband. Bon always had that effect on him, even when he was being stubborn and insufferable. “Thanks, Bon. I’m sorry.”

“Hey. That’s what I’m here for,” Bon leaned forward to kiss Rin’s forehead before wrapping the other man into a hug again. “And that’s why you married me. I’ll always be here for you, Rin, okay? Don’t you ever forget that. You may be a dumbass sometimes and get yourself into trouble or not think. But that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna love you and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that I’m never gonna be there when you need it.”

“I know,” Rin mumbled softly, closing his eyes as his body was enveloped in the warmth and familiarity of his lover.

 

**~                     ~                 ~**

“Well that truly is quite something now, isn’t it?”

Mephisto grinned widely to himself, arms crossed as he set his gaze over the other demon standing before him. Leaning back in his large chair back at the True Cross Academy office, Mephisto then allowed his gaze wander in thought.

Amaimon, who was aimlessly wandering around the great office with his hands tucked away in his pockets, nodded as he regarded the others words. “It sure is. I hardly had to do a thing, big brother. It was sad, really, but I  _ did _ have such a delight in seeing Rin produce his powers so openly.”

“So it would seem,” Mephisto nodded as he watched the other demon carefully. “You presented no harm to the children?”

“I did not,” Amaimon responded curtly and cooly, though his tone sounded slightly disappointed as well. 

“And yet,” leaning back in his chair once more, Mephisto brought a finger up to his chin in thought, “Rin showed parental rage and protection to the likes that even  _ I _ didn’t see coming. Presenting his gift so openly and without remorse or a second thought . . . that could prove a problem for our young brother. And yet, I cannot foresee this event becoming a problem in the future.”

A short laugh came from the demon before spinning his chair away from Amaimon to gaze out his windows. “Perhaps there is much much more to this pregnancy than we know of. After all, there hasn’t been a demon who has been impregnated in quite some time. And with a full blooded human mate at that.”

“It’s true,” Amaimon nodded smoothly, casually striding over to Mephisto. “Do we know what this all means, big brother?”

“Oh heavens, no. Even I can’t guess at what might come next,” Mephisto grinned as his gaze was brought back over to his younger brother. “We shall just have to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show my dearest Amaimon.”


	6. Patient Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these filler chapters kill, man

_ A Month Later   
14 weeks  _

  
  


“I’ve decided,” Rin groaned softly from the bathroom. He was bent over at the waist over the toilet bowl, arm gently wrapped around his baby bump. He was showing more now, thought he could still easily hide it under both his normal and work clothes. Every now and then Mephisto’s words would swim around in his head and Rin would  _ almost _ be tempted to just tell his husband that he was carrying twins. 

“Decided what, exactly?” Bon frowned softly, coming around the corner from their bedroom into the bathroom doorway, eyes falling on his ailing husband.

“This is the worst part of pregnancy,” Rin moaned lowly. “The throwing up and stomach pains and nausea.”

Ryuuji chuckled at that, shaking his head as he grabbed a washcloth from the rack beside him, turning the cold water knob of the sink to full blast. “You say that now, but wait until you start gaining more weight, getting hungry for weird things, and your feet start hurting.”

Rin whined softly, rubbing a hand slowly over his stomach. He knew that Bon was right, but as of  _ now _ , this was the worst part of his pregnancy. “Yeah, well, every stage has its ups and downs, right?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point there,” Bon squatted down beside Rin slowly with a grunt. “You done emptying your stomach, ya think?”

“Dunno,” Rin sighed softly, closing his eyes. He  _ felt _ done and if the twins would have any sympathy for him, they’d give it a break. Slowly, in case he  _ did _ end up vomiting some more, Rin leaned against his husband with eyes still closed. It wasn’t until the cold washcloth that Bon had soaked in the sink touched his forehead that Rin felt a bit better.

Ryuuji smiled at the sudden relaxation, happy to see that Rin was able to move and settle as comfortably as he could on the bathroom floor. Seeing Rin beat down was strange and upsetting. He was so used to his half-demon husband running around, talking a mile a minute, being pumped up at work, taking demons down left and right and still finding the energy and time to come home and cook meals. 

Now he was just . . .  _ tired _ . Tired and slowed down quite a few notches. While Bon knew that all of that was just normal for being pregnant, he couldn’t help but to worry about the demon side of it all. If the baby was - or would  be - needing extra energy and nutrients from Rin. If once his husband was past the first two or so months, he would get all that energy and stubbornness back, within reason. 

Nine months, after all, was a long time.

**~                        ~                    ~**

It took Rin about an hour to get ready to leave, mostly because he was still trying to get his bearings back in order and change into his work clothes. Luckily for him, his exorcist uniform still fit rather nicely around him while hiding his bump in the meantime. But in the back on Rin’s mind, he knew that it was going to be tough after two more months  most likely.

“I just remembered something,” Bon’s voice broke through Rin’s thoughts like shattering glass. They were at the monastery, Rin wanting to stop by before Yukio showed up. Neither of them had spoken to the younger brother since the meeting a month prior.

Rin had been preoccupied with his thoughts, not even out of the car yet with his blue eyes just staring blankly ahead at the front entrance to the monastery. So many thoughts ran through his head, but it seemed that his husband had other things on his mind. 

“What’s that?” his voice was soft and low, arms crossed over his stomach loosely.

“Aside from having to tell, well, everyone else,” Bon sighed softly, leaning back in the driver’s seat, hands still on the steering wheel. “There’s the names, and the clothes . . . figuring out where you’re gonna give birth.”

Rin perked up at that, swallowing with nervousness as he looked towards his husband. A place to have the twins . . . that thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Not even  _ once _ . And Bon was right, they were going to have to start planning for all of those things.

But where in the world would he, the son of Satan, be able to have his own children?

“I mean I know we have a lot of time and all, but,” Ryuuji sighed again, trying to get his thoughts in order. “I mean that’s part of the fun, right?”

“Yeah,” Rin nodded slowly. He was still feeling nauseated from breakfast and more tired than usual. From doing some quick research online, he knew that these were all normal parts of his pregnancy within the first month or so. He hated it. 

Bon frowned softly, sitting up more in his seat with eyes glued to his husband intensely. “You feelin’ okay, Rin? I can take ya home if you want. You should be resting.”

“I’m fine,” Rin sighed, finally opening up the passenger side door. “Just feeling sick still. I’ll be five minutes.”

“Yeah, okay,” Bon rubbed his forehead gently, eyes watching Rin as he approached the front door , then disappeared inside. As much as he wanted to go in after his husband, he knew that Rin would protest. It still didn’t help the worried feeling in his gut.

Rin was as stubborn as he was persistent and ever since the night that Bon had picked him up in the middle of the road, Rin had been nothing short of stubborn, sluggish, and tense. He still didn’t know what happened that day, and for whatever reason, his husband didn’t want to tell.

**~                 ~                  ~**

It was quiet inside of the building , but still looked and smelled as much the same as Rin remembered. For that thought alone, a tiny smile came over his face. He wasn’t really here for anything like he’d told Bon, though he  _ would _ probably take a few necessities from the kitchen. Not like Yukio used it or anything.

No, Rin just wanted a familiar and quiet place to think. Somewhere to sit and think things over. He hadn’t told Bon what happened between him and Amaimon that night, and he was still at wit’s end with Yukio. He hadn’t even  _ heard  _  from his younger brother in a month and at this point, hope was frankly lost that Yukio would ever come around. 

Sighing softly, Rin dropped slowly down to his knees at the only place he was ever caught in more than once: the confessionals. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Or what I’m  _ supposed _ to be doing. I need Yukio’s help but he won’t talk to me. And I don’t even know  _ where _ or  _ how _ to begin talking to anyone else. Hell, I don’t even know who else knows.”

Rin didn’t expect an answer to come from anyone. He was, after all, the only one here besides Bon outside in the car. His words were echoing around the room slowly, fading out into nothing as he took in a deep breathe. Eyes closed and head bowed, Rin sunk lower onto the floor, crossing his legs under the large black exorcist jacket. 

“This is supposed to be one of the most exciting part of our lives, me and Bon,” Rin sighed, running both hands over his face. “Instead, we’re worrying about this thing and that shit, and how is everyone going to react, how are we going to keep it from the Vatican . . .”

He paused for a moment, dropping his head back with eyes opened and staring up at the wooden beams above him. “Not that we don't want this, we do. It’s just . . . it has more strings attached than we’d like. And we knew this. God, we fuckin’ knew it. But maybe we were just hopeful. Idiots, more like.”

Another sigh escaped Rin’s mouth before he just flopped down onto his back, still staring up at the ceiling. Arms were spread out on either side of him, feet propped up on their soles with knees facing up to the sky. “Man . . I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore.”

“Sounds like you’re at a crossroads, if I do say so myself,” a smooth and cool voice followed Rin’s comment. Not that Rin was surprised, it had been a whole month since one of his many half-brothers had showed up. When it all started.

“Sure, I guess,” Rin closed his eyes slowly, one of his hands coming up to gently smooth over his curved stomach. 

From across the way, Mephisto crossed his arms and frowned slowly at Rin. He’d been following his brother closely, though physically from a distance. The last month had been rough for him and his husband, that much Mephisto knew. But this? This was sad.

“Care to elaborate your thoughts, little brother?”

A grunt, then a low hum followed the question, Rin neither responding fully nor keeping completely quiet. His head felt like mush, his body like lead. “I miss him sometimes, you know. I thought we had a good thing going together. After everything. But I guess  _ this, _ ” Rin’s eyes were drawn down towards his middle and bit down on his lip. “I guess this was the deal breaker, huh?”

“You’re speaking of your younger brother again, yes?” Mephisto casually strode around the lined wooden benches, then went around Rin towards the lone standing chair in the confessional room and plopped down onto it.

Another grunt responded to the question. Then, “You might wanna be careful where you wander. Ryuuji’s out front in the car. Wouldn’t want him to come in guns blazing. He’s on a protective high right now.”

“Oh as one could imagine so,” Mephisto grinned, propping his elbow on the arm of the chair, chin in hand. “A protective father seems to be, well, a general theme around here wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sure,” Rin shrugged, his eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling once more. One hand lazy rested over his bump, thumb rubbing in circles over the fabric of his jacket straying away from the many buttons. “I didn’t tell him about Amaimon.”

This time it was the other demon who grunted, but then sighed out of annoyance before crossing his legs, dusting off something on his knee. “Yes, well. I apologize for his  _ antics _ . But you know how Amaimon can be. All show and flair.” 

A low chuckle came from Mephisto, hand coming over his eyes in amusement. “Come to think of it, almost as much flair as I do! Nonetheless, I have told our dear brother to kindly stand down for the duration of your pregnancy. He’s agreed to behave himself.”

“Well at least there’s that, right?” Rin rolled his eyes, pushing himself up with his hands. Once sitting, he leaned against one of the benches, eyes daring to look at Mephisto. “Did you just come here because you were bored or somethin?”

“On the contrary,” Mephisto shot Rin one of his infamous grins, uncrossing his legs and lacing his fingers together. “Tell me, Rin. Out of curiosity, why haven’t you told your darling dear husband about your little run in with Amaimon?”

“Besides the fact that he would rip the prick limb from limb?” Rin raised an eyebrow in amusement, shaking his head. “Bon already has his hands full between work, his temple, his parents, and now me and this whole ordeal. I didn’t need him knowing that one of my demon half brothers knocked me on my ass.”

Mephisto bowed his head in acknowledgement, a short  _ hmph _ bouncing off the walls around them. “Fair enough. Though, there  _ is _ one bit of information that you do need to know. And you can choose whether to tell your darling husband or not.”

Rin felt his blood go cold and his eyes widen. If Mephisto was coming to him with  _ more _ information, then that could mean anything. Good, bad, or in between. That didn’t matter to Rin now, though. He just wanted to know what it was.

“Seeing as how you  _ are _ carrying children,” Mephisto began smoothly, standing to his feet while brushing off his vest smartly. “You’re well aware of the danger you have ahead of you. You of course, already know that the Vatican would love to get their grubby little hands on you and tear you apart. Even though the Grigori favored in your case ten years ago and you have shown remarkable strengths as well as keeping to your word, you’re still under very close scrutiny. And the Order tend to not forget such matters.”

“Just get to the damn point already,” Rin growled softly, getting to his feet. “I don’t have time to guess all day.”

Mephisto paused in mid step, already heading towards one of the side doors of the monastery. With a complacent sigh, he crossed both arms and gave Rin a pointed look. “The Vatican, dear brother, they are not the only ones you should be concerned about. As I said, you are still the son of Satan and that means you are still very much even after aaaallll these years under close watch. And people like the Grigori and Arthur are not the kind of people who just forgive and forget. Surely, you have to remember and know all of this. Or have you forgotten and become content with your quaint little human world and your marriage? Surely you have not forgotten who you  _ really _ are under all of that .”

A sly and sure smile played upon Mephisto’s face as he watched Rin’s expression change from annoyance, to fear, to guilt, then to frustration. “Ah, ah, be careful now, Rin. You wouldn’t want to lose the only remaining memory of Father Fujimoto would you? Keep that anger under wraps and save it for someone else. You can enjoy your 

world and your life, your marriage to the Suguro boy and your upcoming children, by all means please do. But don’t for a second put your weapon away, so to speak. Don’t become comfortable, and don’t forget that under all of this, you still are who you were born to be.”

Rin clenched both hands at his sides, doing everything in his will to not blow up right then and there. Maybe he  _ had  _ become too comfortable and settled in all this. It was easy to forget that he was half demon and yes, the son of Satan. More often than not it seemed over the last five or so years. Maybe it was hope, maybe it was Bon treating him like every other human on earth. Either way, Rin knew that Mephisto was once again, as usual, right. And that hurt more than anything.

“Patience, my dear brother,” Mephisto spoke after a few moments of recollection, turning away. “It is what you humans call a virtue. And in time, all of this will come to help you, not to harm you. And in time I hope that you will heed my words and learn to trust me a little more. And perhaps only then, will you allow yourself to accept my help.”

**~                ~              ~**

Rin entered the car after fifteen more minutes of scrounging through the kitchen with nothing to show for. He looked upset, that much Bon could tell, and when he came out with nothing in his hands it worried him further.

“What happened?” Bon asked as soon as Rin flung open the passenger side door and slumped down into the seat, slamming the door back shut. 

“Nothing,” Rin grumbled lowly, putting his seat belt on and looking out the window. “Let’s just go to work, okay?”

As much as Bon would have liked to press, they still had jobs to get through today and he didn’t want to start an argument now. Later, however, he made a mental note for himself to sit Rin down and talk to him. 

He’d be damned if he allowed Rin to go through this by himself. As much as his husband was stubborn and thick headed, often times thinking he could and should do things on his own, this time was different.

This time, they  _ needed _ to work as a team.


	7. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn't expect to get to this today, but sometimes writing is funny that way. i had something different planned out for ch7 at first, but i like how this turned out a lot better!
> 
> enjoy and happy reading! ♥

“Rin! Rin hold on a damn minute, slow down!” 

He could feel the antagonizing rage bubble up in his chest, eyes were heavy with the threat of hot tears. If he fumed for much longer, the flames would start to appear and that wouldn’t make anything better. 

Rin was on edge, more on edge than he had been since that morning. And throughout the day it just seemed to get worse; Yukio ignoring him quite clearly, the words he had with Mephisto earlier . . . all the way up to Bon having to split his dedication and time between his temple work and his career as an exorcist. It had just piled up and became too much for Rin. He felt guilty, confused, hurt, angry, and lost. 

He was shouldering all of the burdens of his pregnancy alone, something he knew that his husband would surely yell at him for. Rin was always the type to go his own way, do things on his own, and forgot that he had people around to help. This time was no different. Well, except for the overflow of emotions and the twins in his belly.

Frustratingly, Rin tore the buttons apart on his exorcist jacket as soon as he entered the bedroom. Ryuuji was closing and locking the door behind them of their little home before rushing after his husband with annoyance on his face and worry in his eyes.

“What the hell is your problem, Rin?”

But his husband didn’t answer; instead he threw the jacket onto the bed along with its belts and proceeded to kick off his shoes in a silent fury. When Rin began to walk away, Bon reached a hand out and grabbed his husband by the wrist. “Dammit, Rin! Talk to me!”

Something snapped then, Rin ripping his wrist out of Bon’s grip, teeth gritted and bright blue eyes glazing over with hot tears. Suddenly, he was engulfed in the brilliance of his blue flames, both hands balled up into fists. He was ready to fight, but it wasn’t going to be Ryuuji. His husband wasn’t the one he was angry at.

It was himself.

“No,” Ryuuji reached both of his hands out then, grabbing hold of his husband’s wrists. “You don’t get to play silent and angry and you sure as hell don’t get to bring out your flames! Calm down and put them away!”

Rin wanted to speak. He wanted to scream, cry, shout, and rage. But he couldn’t. He could hardly move, barely lift his eyes up to look at Bon. He felt so out of it, so lost and heavy. Like the burdens of the last month were just sitting on his shoulders, refusing to give away. Was this normal? Was this hormones? Or was it just him?

“Look at me, Rin Suguro,” Bon said softly, though through gritted teeth. He was more than just a little worried for Rin. His husband hadn’t been himself since the last month passed. He wanted to chalk it all up to the pregnancy and maybe it was, but there  _ had _ to be more to it, right? Rin was the type to take problems silently and on his own. And if there were things going on that Bon didn’t know about, then he  _ needed _ to know now.

“ . . . I - can’t . . .” Rin spoke lowly, almost in a whisper. His head was still bowed, eyes squeezed shut as if that was going to make the tears stop coming. His hands were still balled up into fists, Bon holding tightly and steadily onto his wrists. 

“Can’t what, Rin? Talk to me,” Bon spoke a little calmer now, more compassionately with softness. “You need to calm down. Put the flames away, Rin, you hear me?”

“I’m trying!” Rin blurted out, feeling his heart pound heavier in his chest. Suddenly a few hot tears escaped and ran down his cheeks, the floodgates now opened. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Bon! I don’t know what I’m  _ supposed _ to do! And I . . . I’m gonna have everyone comin’ after me, and if anyone hears about this, I-”

“Hey, slow down,” Ryuuji released his grip on his husband’s wrists, bending down slightly to get level with Rin. “Look I know you’re scared and I know it’s a lot. I know there’s a lot we still don’t know and . . .  dammit, I know, Rin. You can’t keep trying to do things on your own, you know that! We’re a team, and this is my battle too, you know. It’s also my baby.”

Slowly, the blaze was dying down as Rin kept his teeth gritted in order to not let out any sounds. But he was losing the battle fast and was almost dropping to his knees. “This just . . .  I didn’t expect it to be so hard, Ryuuj.”

“Listen I know you didn’t,” Bon altogether released Rin’s hands, arms coming around his husband in a tight hug. “But you gotta stop leaving me in the dust. Don’t be a  moron. Let me help you. Talk to me when shit’s getting too much to handle. I don’t give a damn what it is. We need to be in this together.”

Slowly, the anger was bubbling away. The guilt was melting into puddles, and the flames were all but gone now. Rin could never understand how Bon did it, but his husband always seemed to know how to get through to him. To calm down, think, and to talk. To let people in; him, most of all. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Rin,” Ryuuji closed his eyes, tucking Rin’s head under his chin. One lone hand began to rub at his husband’s back as they were both lowered slowly onto the cherry oak hardwood that made up their bedroom floor. Rin was gripping tightly onto his exorcist jacket, face buried as a mess of tears flowed down his cheeks. “We’re gonna be fine. Me, you, and our baby. I swear on it. I’ll be damned if I let anything happen to you.” 

All other feelings melted away, Rin knew what was left. The only emotion he could feel and the only one he hadn’t felt in, well, forever. It was unsettling, that feeling, and he hated it almost as much as the anger or guilt. Even more than feeling disappointed or a failure.

“I’m scared.”

The words shot through Ryuuji’s heart like a blade. It made his chest ache and his stomach turn into knots. In all the times they had been together, from enemies to friends to lovers and married, he never once heard Rin admit to being afraid  of anything. The half-demon was more often than not, fearless and charged head first into danger. Bon had seen Rin fight unimaginable monsters, face demons, face the Vatican, the Grigori . . . he’d been thrown, stabbed, flung, tortured and countless other atrocities Bon tried to forget. 

But this. . .  starting a family, becoming pregnant . . . this is finally what brought the former Okumura boy to his fears. 

It almost made Bon’s heart tear into a million tiny pieces.

“I know you are,” Ryuuji spoke slowly, planting a gentle kiss against Rin’s pointed ear. Suddenly, he realized that the feeling was mutual. Sure, he was excited to become a parent. He liked kids a lot and could see himself being a dad with Rin. But there were a lot of strings attached and Bon would be lying to himself and to everyone else if he said that he wasn’t also a little afraid.

“It’s . . . “ he paused for a moment and sighed before closing his eyes. He had to recollect himself and get the words right. Otherwise, Bon knew that he was never going to get through to his husband. 

“It’s scary, I know. There’s a lot riding on this and a lot to do. And I know it’s a scary time for the both of us. Most of all, you. But I don’t want this to just be scary and unsure and tense. I want this to be a happy time for us, too, you know. We’re going to be  _ parents _ , Rin. That’s - that’s amazing and it’s something I want to enjoy with you. And I want us to be happy about having a kid and not think about all the other shit. Because it’s gonna be fine.  _ You’re _ gonna be fine,” he paused for a second time as his thoughts wandered, rubbing his cheek gently against Rin’s hair. He couldn’t act on those thoughts right now. It would only scare Rin more.

“And the baby. The baby is gonna be fine. Everything’s gonna work out, Rin. You just gotta trust me. Trust you . . . trust our friends. You’re not alone and you’re not gonna  _ be _ alone. Ever. You got that?”

Rin nodded, face still buried into Bon’s shoulder. He was practically collected up into his husband’s lap by now, both hands loosely holding onto the familiar black exorcist jacket. So much was running through his head, but he was too tired to talk. He’d done enough talking in the last month and it had gotten exhausting, fast. 

“It’s gonna be fine, Rin,” Ryuuji spoke again after a few moments, leaning his head down. Slowly, he removed the hand from Rin’s back and gently laid it on his husband’s small rounding stomach. He smiled then as his thumb began to gently rub against the fabric of Rin’s shirt. 

A small spark of hope lifted itself up in Bon’s chest as he tucked Rin’s head back under his chin, eyes closing. A deep breath in and slowly then let out, Bon made sure his only focus right now was his distressed husband and the baby inside him. 

Demons, priests, monsters, Vatican, Grigori, Satan, fate,  or whatever be damned; nothing was going to ruin this for them. And nothing was going to hurt them.

For the next eight months, Bon was going to make damn sure of that.


End file.
